day 1

i dont know how to start writing im stunned im empty . whats wrong baby whats wrong. whats holding you back? you know i forgived you right? i just want you backk. mistakes happens i wasnt around when it happen i was in ns. i blame myself for being there =\ its all my fault for whats going on now till you have doubts. when you walked away i knew you were leaving me. why baby why? why cant we sort things out? why cant things be the same? today wasnt a good day for me. stop pushing me away, pull be back . i feel terribly insecure as you kept pushing me away. nothing went right today. i couldnt eat couldnt sleep couldnt do anything. all i had in mind is you. right now right here. you replied me few mins ago and then you disappeared again =\ but before that you ignored me for about 5 hours. ill be patiently waiting here for you no matter how long it takes no matter how things are. we know we can fix things . its the matter we want to or not. where ever i was whatever i do, all i had in mind is you. you and you alone. thinking and thinking. i know you want space you want your freedom you want everything to be okay. im worried about you and im giving you what you want and how you want it. you want time i give you that. you rather believe in your friends and not me. its okay. i had a terrible past and yeah gossips goes on although its normal convo with a girl/guy . but the fact that your walking away from me kills me sayang . frankly i cant take it that your walking away from me. do you still love me? im dying to hear those three words from you. where is it baby where is it? your constantly here then gone. i can barely walk. im weak. weaker than you think. im still avoiding my medications. i know i have to take it as i can pass out anytime. im sorry if you get mad hearing this. today i bought crocs . the sandals reminds me of you everytime the colours the wordings . baby i miss you do come back home into my arms. i miss your sweet morning texts your voice your kisses your hugs . the way you ask for bear hug and hug me so tightly never gonna let go. i broke down few times today. im sorry im not strong enough i guess i'll never be when your not here with me. when i asked you are you gonna take care of me? you didnt reply. where are you baby. why are you missing. im gonna wait for you. but your gonna scold me for being a vamp. im awake cause i wanna get your reply i wanna be there to reply you. i seriously honestly miss you.

see the sandals? the colour is mcd. stands for you and me . teddy reminds me of you . and our starting alphabets on the other side with mine the superman S. i miss you baby come back .

ps michelle lee aka babyku i love you